Have faith, Restart

We Got Married!

2010-01-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

My first day at work. Looking forward for OJT. ^^

Anyhoo, yes! We Got Married!!! It's a South Korean reality show. Celebrities got 'married' and live together as a newlywed. A really enjoyable show.

I watched the show because of Hyunjoong was in it. Just like when I watched BOF, Hyunjoong was the real reason however I became Junpyo and Jandi supporter. Hee.. Same goes with We Got Married, I grew fond of AnSol/AnBi couple. Forgive me Hyunjoong, don't get me wrong, I still like the Lettuce couple =) But Andy and Solbi were so sweet in their own way. I like both of them. Andy and Solbi, I wish they would date for real! Really! The part where they exchanged their couple rings over the eels cooked by Solbi, Omo! Omo! Omo! that's one of my favorite parts. And the last episode too, the farewell mission. They actually cried. T_T I wish they could've stayed longer on the show. I want to see more of them.

sigh

2010-01-02T13:49:00.006+08:00

Something bothers me about this job.
- Far from my home although it's only a 30-minutes drive.
- uggh expensive toll.. fine, I'll apply for PlusMiles TnG card so I can get 5% rebate for the following month.
- Irregular working hours, the airport operates 24-hour on rotating clock, non-stop. My biological clock could turn 180-degree.

And I have this weird feeling, like something is going to happen. And I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe it's just a hunch. Maybe I'm in denial state, trying to find excuses because I still can't believe I have to go to work this Wednesday and the fact that I have to be a real adult too soon. Aih, mau rileks-rileks lagii...

yay! i guess.

2009-12-30T15:38:00.007+08:00

I have a job =) yabedabedu!! Alhamdulillah. Not just any job, a job in the field that I ~~desire~~ need most. Kyaaa..~

Will start on Jan 6. Meaning that, few more days before the working life take over me. Actually, I have two job offers. One from IBM and the latter, an airport service company based in KLIA. I turned down the first one. Yep, it's crazy right, to turn down a job offer with IBM, one of the best companies to work for in the country. The latter tops the list because I want the exposure to the air transport industry as I intend to do my postgraduate studies in MSc Air Transport Management later on. The pay isn't that much compared to the amount IBM offered me. But the job scope is relevant to the courses in the postgraduate programme so the experience in this field will be a huge benefit for me. Fyi, I'm in Flight Op department. If I have no intention to further my studies, I'd probably choose IBM, really.

23 on 23rd

2009-12-23T00:05:00.003+08:00

Life at 22 was like a roller-coaster ride, full of excitement and dramatic.

it doesn't matter, really.

2009-12-07T21:52:00.003+08:00

No matter how much I crave for that certain thing.
No matter how much I beg and cry.
No matter how much I yearn for it to be.
IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Hopelessly Hoping

2009-12-05T20:19:00.005+08:00

Why do we always want what we can't have?

Impossible. Unattainable. Hopeless. Unachievable.
These words exist for people like me.

What I wish and hope for is so ridiculously unattainable! Impossible enough that I think I could just be in full despair for the rest of my life.

Dreams. Hopes and wishes -- I don't want to just dream, I want to make it real. I want it to happen the way I imagined it to be. The way I see it now, there is NO way it could happen anytime soon, heck not even in a million year. See, these dreams I have only happens in the movies.

It's irritating knowing that those things that I want are there but.. out of my my reach. I can see it, I can feel it, I can almost touch it. Like a dream, it vanishes abruptly when reality hits me. Them, you, us and me -- a way way looooongggg distance apart.

the heart seemed to do it somehow

2009-12-02T23:44:00.010+08:00

Now listening to The Heart Seemed To Do It Somehow by A&T.

Oh I just finished another re-run of BOF. I think I like that drama a lot kot. The storyline is so predictable, when hatred turn into love bla bla bla... a typical lame love story. However, I can’t seem to explain how or why but I could put any episode of BOF on repeat and never get bored. The part where Jan Di left Jun Pyo at the bus stop my eyes will turn teary every time I watch it. Actually, my main reason of watching the drama was because of Hyunjoong, surprisingly I accidentally developed interest towards Lee Min Ho and Kim Bum. Aigo, they’re SO good looking! I dislike Jun Pyo’s curly hair but Min Ho’s hairstyle, two thumbs up! *drools* aahh Min Ho..
I remembered G-ta told me that her friend was in the same restaurant as Min Ho when he came to Malaysia two months ago. Come to think of it………WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *screams* Oh I wish I was there too!!!

Sometimes I wonder, let say Lee Min Ho, Kim Heechul, Lee Sungmin, Kim Bum, Park Jungmin and Kim Hyunjoong are Malays. Will I still like them this much? Going ga-ga over them? Honestly, N-O-P-E!! No way!

Hit by hallyu wave, I enjoy every second of it. Thanks to G-ta who introduced me to SJ and kpop-related stuff. However, there are some who didn’t really favor my new interest. I’m not asking for their approval or anything. But couldn’t they just at least be happy for me after everything I’ve gone through? Instead, they keep.. ugghh no need to go further about this. I was living my life miserably for the past eleven months - it was exhausting. I'm glad I found my saviors; Heenim, all SJ members, double S, Min Ho and Kim Bum. My wound actually healed which is an absolute surprise, even to me. I moved on and I never felt this good. That chunk of life, I threw it all away. It may seems illogical to turn to the people who I don't even know, who don't even speak the same language as me.. but it feels so right. The heart seemed to do it somehow. Haha.

Aih, I think my writing in English is getting worse. Please mind the grammatical error. Will ask Hanis to check this entry soon.

Off to watch Band of Brothers and BOF's Haptic Mission.

Tagged by Jema

2009-11-18T11:10:00.007+08:00

Apology for the lapse of blogging. Jema tagged me few weeks ago - phew, a reason to keep this blog alive.

Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog.

Will I get far in life?
One Minute One Second, Epik High

How do my friends see me?
Fan, Epik High

Where will I get married?
Molla-ing, May Doni feat 2AM I don’t know, haha because marriage is last thing on my mind right now

What is my best friends theme song?
Michyeo, Lee Jung Hyun

What is the story of my life?
Act Like Nothing, Top

What was high school like?
Again, Yui

How can I get ahead in life?
Stand By U, DBSK

What is the best thing about me?
Chobyeol, Kim Heechul Heechul-shi!!! =)

How is today going to be?
Cling, FT Island

What is in store for this weekend?
Can You Keep A Secret, Utada Hikaru

What song describes my parents?
Timeless, Zhang Li Yin feat Xiah Junsu

My grandparents?
Don’t Say Goodbye, EVE

How is my life going?
Summertime, NEWS

What song will they play at my funeral?
Haru Haru, Big Bang

How does the world see me?
Hallelujah, Big Bang IRIS ost

Will I have a happy life?
Chocolate Love, f(x)

What do my friends really think of me?
Disco Drive, Super Junior

Do people secretly lust after me?
Let's Not, Super Junior

How can I make myself happy?
Heartquake, Super Junior KRY feat U-know and Micky

What should I do with my life?
Reset, Super Junior Aih, if only life can be reset over and over again.

Will I ever have children?
Haengbok, Super Junior

What is some good advice?
Love Disease, Super Junior. Better stay away from love.

What is my signature dancing song?
A Man In Love, Super Junior. I do love their dance choreography for this song!

What do I think my current theme song is?
Don't Don, Super Junior

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Gee (rock version), Nemesis

What type of men/women do you like?
Cotton Candy, Nemesis The candy(ies) to my eyes! Bwahahaha

What did you think of this meme?
Rose de Versailles, Nemesis

I been hit by hallyu wave. Real hard. Obviously.

Thank you

2009-10-20T10:03:00.005+08:00

It's funny how life can take new meaning.

credits: sj bestiz and conneeezyx

When I'm weary, you give me strength.
And you're often by my side.
Now I want to say thank you.
And because there's you, that's why I'm happy.
This is for you.
The day that the tears come flowing down again,
before it dries up, you hold my hand in the dark.
Without a word, you watch over me.
Thank you.
You must have had a harder time than I did,
you must have worried more than I did.
Because of you I'm able to stand again.
I'm very thankful.
There is so much I want to give you.
But in reality it's not possible, it's difficult.
Trust me, take my hand.
If we are together I feel like anything can be done, forever.
The day that the tears come flowing down again,
before it dries up, you hold my hand in the dark.
Without a word, you watch over me.
Thank you.
I won't have a hard time anymore.
Even if times get rough, I always have you.
I do not have to say anything and you know what I mean.
Because there's someone like you here, I'm very happy.

Kangin, 110% support for you!

Switching off the reality

2009-09-16T10:05:00.017+08:00

Few days to Eid, which is supposed to be a celebration to all Muslims. Family and friends gather together, going to open houses etc. Yet, I'm not in the mood for any festive activity. It's not that things aren't going too well for me. But because I know people will be asking what's up with me. And I can give answers which are either:

1. Honest. I sleep, I eat and I spend most of my time going ga-ga about Suju.
2. Polite. Ah, I'm waiting for the best opportunity to come around.
3. Rude. Oh great! Just great! My future's going nowhere and you're dissing me now?!!

Lying would be an option. Err, I'm working from home. Home-office, yeno. Then I'll quickly change the topic.

Truthfully for this coming Eid, I'd rather stay home, sit in front of my laptop and drool everytime I see Heenim. Good Lord, I wish I could switch off the reality for the whole week. If only life is as easy as turning on and turning off the light.

Ugh I should put signs like No Trespassing at the gate. Trespassers will be Prosecuted. House for Sale. Restricted Area. Bwahahaha.

Wait a sec. On the positive side of Eid, since I have no fixed income, I am still eligible to receive duit raya. Right? right? $.$

U

2009-08-28T21:22:00.009+08:00

It's been a year. I was emotionally bleeding. I used to feel so weak. And these couple of days, I have never felt this good!!! My heart is fluttering and my whole being feels like dancing. It's like, there's a music somewhere in my mind with fast tempo that actually revs me up. I feel like a long lost planet that is finally orbiting the right star. When my life is unbearably tough and lonely, I found a glimpse of heaven that has the capability to suck up the divine silence of my misery. My mental exhaustion has evaporated and puff! I am miraculously invigorated. All my thoughts seem to settle on the breeze. Now, I look forward to each day filled with new hopes.
Honestly, I'd rather be walking in the air than bound to earth and be in pain.

2009-08-15T18:36:00.004+08:00

You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

You're Not Sorry, Taylor Swift

2009-08-03T16:05:00.002+08:00

I know whenever I'm in Shah Alam, I tend to blog more. Just because I have nothing better to do here. Abah was so reluctant to install Astro to this very home *sob sob*. I been buttering him up but he gave all these rationale excuses and lectures too. Thankfully I have Celcom broadband.

Uh-kay. I went to UiTM this morning. Aini asked for my help regarding her official transcript thingy, besides there's a convocation form that I need to fill in. Everything seems so different now. I felt like a stranger to the campus that I gave my 'heart and soul' (iyaa, UiTM dihatiku!) to for two years. It's like, I am first year student who just registered yesterday. That bad, you know. You see, I was lost in that very campus. Arggh! I was driving around the campus for three times to find a parking space. There are also changes of directions in the campus area. And students have to park their cars at Padang Kawad and take shuttle bus to their faculties. I recognized the system very well. That's the park-and-ride system. The system really works after all. I mean, no more congestion around Menara and Business Faculty, everything is under control. I remember how bad it was, the double park and everything. No more eye-sore. The campus has never been this peaceful. I bet my lecturers are behind this system, kudos to them! hehe. Anyway. Back then, finding a parking space was like finding a needle in the haystack. It was horrible. I actually missed few classes just because I couldn't find one. There were times that I wish I took the bus instead.

Ohmigod. I think I miss my campus life in Shah Alam more than ever! I know I used to feel like so isolated being here since I came from a branch campus, haha Kampus Machang pulak tu. Students who are from branch campuses would find it abit difficult to cope with the culture. Everyone mind their own business in Shah Alam. Two years ago, I was so depressed with the campus environment. Buildings everywhere. Faculties here and there. Pening tau. Pejabat Bendahari ada six of them if I'm not mistaken, scattered all over the campus. At one point, I even thought of giving up my degree. Being there was emotionally draining. As time goes by, I learnt and I blended in. Friends and classmates were very supportive. They really gave me that extra shove to get me to realize the main purpose of me being there. Honestly, I think I prefer main campus compared to branch campus. You really learn how to stand on your own feet, be independent, that kind of thing, yeno? Eh, since Ramadhan is around the corner, I'll totally miss Section 7's Bazar Ramadhan, my everyday buka puasa menu would be the crispy murtabak popia. Alahai *drools*.

Awright geeezzaa. I have to pack up my stuff. Flying off to my hometown tonight. It's really hard to have two places you called home, and two rooms as well. Oh and I have to leave my Baby too T.T

2009-08-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

My food-tasting list keeps getting longer and longer. I need to check out these food factories!

1. Otak-otak Place, Tropicana City Mall
2. Tenji Japanese Buffer at Solaris
3. Pho Hoa, The Curve
4. Bonjuk, a Korean porridge place at Desa Sri Hartamas. My stomach been calling for some Korean cuisine since I got Suju's fever. Hyuk-hyuk. G-ta, I blame you for the infection!
5. Pasta Zanmai.
6. Ayam Penyet at Sunway Mentari. It's an Indonesian restaurant, there's a similar restaurant at The Curve called Waroeng Penyet. I love its soda gembira.
7. Thai Express, The Curve
8. Bondi Beach Grill and Bar, next to Bubba Gump Shrimp and Co. at The Curve

My interest in food is outrageous. The list is going nowhere as I am unemployed (by choice) and my financial status is a total nightmare. Damn!

ps. I just found out there's a Koreantown somewhere in Ampang =D

2009-07-31T19:10:00.005+08:00

I can't stay here any longer. I been purchasing some things (a lot of things actually) without guilt. This is very dangerous. I am jobless, with a shrinking bank account. I blame it on Megasale. I have only been here for three days. Good lord, I could actually hear the shoes on the rack calling my name, and said things like.. Buy me!, I'm pretty.. Buy me! Look good on you.. Have me! Buy me! Oh dear. The shoes can talk after all. Flats, I bought two pairs of them. I don't even know why I even need it. I already have three pairs of flats and I hardly wear them. I should have bought something else, like flip flops.. which reminds me that lovely, rubbery soft flip flops at Banana Peel. Or a black pumps for my convocation, I saw one that caught my eyes at Clarks, but haha, no way I could afford it right now, hence I need job! And, Zara's having their final clearance! Oh oh.. and Topshop 50%-70%! You have no idea how these affect the levels of estrogen! I need to find a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end of it. Now, pronto!

Oh the food! Food that I missed very much. Been eating non-stop. Uggh. There goes my diet. Hope the pants will still fit me.

2009-07-30T01:00:00.005+08:00

Because I'm Stupid by SS501

there is no me in your day,
probably not even in your memories
but i'm looking at only you as my tears continue to fall

there is no me in your day,
probably not even in your memories
but i'm looking at only you,
making memories by myself

I used to feel exactly like this, few weeks ago this would be the soundtrack of my personal life. However, it's different now. I have became more of Daughtry's Over You song.

2009-07-28T08:35:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is a once-in-a-lifetime experience!

I get to see a 747 stripped off to bare for D check at MAS

2009-07-26T21:24:00.003+08:00

Weekend had been wonderful with my A-listers.

Saturday : BBQ & SLEEPOVER
Sunday : a SWIM day

I had so much fun! Let's do this again =)

Saying goodbye to yesterday.

2009-07-23T23:32:00.008+08:00

Relieved. It's like the heavy burden I'm caryying all this while is off my shoulder and I feel lighter. I mean, I almost feel nothing. This is good, ain't it? Of course, I'm abit sad. But I am actually okay with that. Lesson learned. Notes taken. Maybe I'm just tired of playing this game, or more likely, bored with the game. I used to think it's holding on that makes me strong, but sometimes it's just letting go. I was holding on for too long, now I'm letting it all go. Besides, there's no use to chase that very last train when you know it's already too late, right? Who knows the next train might just offers you much better seats complete with on-board entertainment.

2009-07-22T20:11:00.013+08:00

It's like holding a handful of water, a handful of sand. It keeps slipping through my fingers. It's impossible.

2009-07-17T20:40:00.003+08:00

I love love love love love love this movie. The movie actually brought me to tears, I was so touched. I could watch My Sassy Girl over and over again. A DVD purchase is a must!

What's meant to be is meant to be, right?

2009-06-27T12:35:00.004+08:00

Hope I can put a stop to this complex situation. My goals mean everything to me. My career, my life, my family, my friends. I am torn between people that I love very much (my family and friends) and my future. I'm scared of what's ahead of me. What if I can't handle living alone? What if something bad happens and there's nobody right next to me (physically) to comfort me? What if I can't survive? What if something goes wrong somewhere? What if? What if? What if? As much as I desperately wanting to leave, I don't know if I really should. I know I can get homesick so easily, heck, during my diploma years back in UiTM Machang I cried almost every night for the first few weeks because I missed my family too much and I was living like 30km from home, and I went home every weekend. Cry baby, that's me. I know I am so fragile and so vulnerable, one messed up situation could just break me. Somehow, I tried to, kinda smooth talk my own self, to be strong. Deep within me, I know I can do this. Now I pray to the Higher Power, the Almighty.

Nearly 1 1/2 year ago, I made one of the stupidest mistakes ever. Wish I could turn back and did not even do it in the first place, it's haunting me now. I let myself fell. It's stupid, really. Huu..~

2009-06-26T22:26:00.002+08:00

This tounge twister might be a bit old to some. But for who haven't heard of this, you might enjoy it.

Dr. Seuss' lost tounge twister, see if you can do this:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top.

2009-06-26T17:52:00.001+08:00

Things get more complicated and even weirder. My mind and my heart did not have good communication with each other. The Mind is being so arrogant. Whilst the Heart pretends to be retardedly mute. Here's the thing, this oh-so-complex situation is just very simple and basic. But I tend to read too much between the lines. It's just plain confusing okay.

On the other note. Hah. I just found out my parents are going to trade in my precious 'Baby' MyVi with a new Honda Jazz for my little sister if I'm ever going to do my master's degree. My little sister is going to gain all the benefits from the whole situation. Huh. Seventeen and a Honda Jazz. So unfair!! You spoiled little brat! No pun intended eh sis, I still love you though!! It's just that when I was seventeen, I didn't even have a car, so it's normal to feel abit jealous with her privilege being the youngest in the family.

2009-06-23T09:37:00.003+08:00

Semakin ku kejar, semakin kau jauh

Tak pernah letih tuk dapatkanmu

Terus berlari namun ku takut terjatuh lagi

Tak ingin lagi.. membuat ku perih..

Sadarkan aku.. dari mimpiku..

Five Minutes
Semakin Ku Kejar Semakin Kau Jauh

2009-06-19T11:50:00.002+08:00

My condition is getting worse than ever. I just want to leave asap. At the same time, I don't want to lose this so-called second chance. These clutters in my head are driving me crazy! My heart says stay. But rationally, I have to go.

2009-06-15T21:17:00.003+08:00

It comes and go.
Brings happiness and sadness.

I don't know what to feel right now. Honestly, I don't know. I don't hate what I feel. I don't want to feel what I feel. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

2009-06-11T23:05:00.003+08:00

Miracles do happen. Alhamdulillah. I'm going to UiTM to get my mini transcript tomorrow.

Wow.

ps. Let's go to Cape Dream, where I shall be writing only about my journey in reaching my dream. Each step I take. The struggles. Ups and downs. Hard times. Everything.

2009-06-11T12:24:00.004+08:00

Ugh. UiTM. For once, I wish they would release the examination result like NOW. I even thought of busting down the faculty's office door and demand for the result. To make it more dramatic, I'll put some MCR songs on the stereo for background music. Bwahaha! Yeah, even Abah was eager to know the result. He woke me up at 7.30 to ask about it and another phone call at 12. Whoa. For first time in my entire education years, I can't wait to check my result. Haha. But really I need the result the soonest possible so I can proceed with my another option for my future! What option?! A backup plan. Plan D.

2009-06-09T22:26:00.007+08:00

Uhm. You know what I hate about myself most? I tend to confuse so easily, yeah, even on simplest things. Especially that. Impaired of making decision. This one or that one. Which one. I'm being in state of confusing situation. Huge, stonking confusion! However on certain things and under exceptional considerable circumstances, I don't. When I don't, I mean it, I don't. Most times I confuse alot. I am easily torn in between. Like now, I'm unable to make final decision. Stay with Umi?. Or. Stay with Abah. Uggh. This is so hard. This is like forcing me to choose between a Chloe bag and a Fossil watch, with loaded revolver poked to my stomach.

Alright.

Activities done today: 1) Baby's regular check-up at Perodua. 2) A movie 'Night at the Museum 2' with two friends. Hurm. What else. Hurm. That's pretty much all.

2009-06-07T21:48:00.012+08:00

Things aren't going well these couple of days. My feelings right now are, which I can describe;

Monsoon in summer days.
A movie that had been paused.
Charlie Chaplin's movie. Mute.
Hitting the lowest note on the piano for the longest time.
A clock that stopped ticking.

Oh well. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Let's just pray for a miracle.

Despite another sappy chapter of my life story. I've been spending my days with the people that I love very much. And I got to take my mind off of the things that are bothering me.

and and.

Yesterday. What a DAY!! Found one of the aircraft models that I've been dying to get my hands on. Brand spanking new MASkargo B 747-400 added to my little collection of aircraft models.

AWESOME. Ain't it?

ps. yippie, new swimwear hunt tomorrow!

2009-06-05T22:48:00.002+08:00

Crushed.

It's too painful.

Enough said.

2009-05-23T21:28:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I really really can't get this bloody song out of my mind. I like Adam's version better than Kris'.

Seconds hours so many days

You know what you want but how long can you wait

Every moment last forever if you feel you've lost your way

What if your chances are already gone

Started believing that I could be wrong

But you give me one good reason to fight and never walk away

Coz here I am — still holding on.

I don't know why but personally, I would love to see Adam Lambert and my #1 favorite band, My Chemical Romance perform together, like a collaboration or something. I bet that'll be a very interesting both music and vocals combination. Adam's ability to hit high octaves, combined with Gerard's unique and expressive vocal.. that'd be incredibly amazing to hear and to watch as well. Yeah, I know, who am I to give such opinion, but anyway that's just me.

2009-05-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

Another song stuck in my head.

No Boundaries. Definitely a great song. Remarkable lyric. Melody, just amazing. I actually watch every rerun of American Idol. I wish Adam had won. Because after watching Adam's performance with KISS, I was blown away. Deep down inside me, I adore Adam (I like Adam's smile alot!) Don't get me wrong, I like Kris as much as Adam. Kris did great too. His Heartless performance took my breath away. He's a very talented singer. Both of them were already winners the day they performed that 3 songs, perhaps it should have been American Idols. Regardless, whoever won yesterday, they're both getting records deals. Danny will probably get record deal as well, so no worries.

Earworm.

2009-05-21T13:00:00.006+08:00

I now have Teardrops on My Guitar constantly playing in my head.

He says he's so in love,

He's finally got it right,

I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me,

Can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes,

So perfectly,

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She'd better hold him tight,

Give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes

And know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Teardrops on My Guitar, Taylor Swift

2009-05-15T22:50:00.005+08:00

Today's a bit hectic. I went to Career Fair at PWTC with my friends. I was reluctant to go there. I went there only for the sake of my parents. They insisted me to check out the fair (yep, Insisted; they sms-es, calls like fifty times.. just to remind me about it *sigh*). Parents will always act like parents. But I still love them to bits anyway. Back to the career fair topic, I found nothing, nada, nein that got my attention. Okay, maybe this one particular company, yes it has something to do with air transport industry, unfortunately due to unknown reason the booth for the company was closed for today's event. The rest, you guessed it.. none seemed to dazzle me.

F&B industry, Not me. Makan boleh tapi keje dalam industri tu tak minat la.

Retailing, Not me.

Biotechnology, I suck at Biology.. so definitely Not me!

Insurance, hah again Not me!

Sales, I'm not a people person - talking or should I say harrassing strangers.. SOoo not me.

I ended up depositing only a few of my resume. Hmm..

The truth is, jiwa aku kacau.. I am torn in between. Plan A, Plan B and/or Plan C. I hope I'll get the result anytime soon.

as tears roll down her face

(waiting, miserably)

Mr Time, go abit faster than usual boleh tak?

2009-05-14T21:16:00.002+08:00

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreamin' but
There's a voice inside my head sayin'
You'll never reach it

Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shakin'

But I
Gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facin'
The chances I'm takin'
Sometimes might knock me down but
No, I'm not breakin'

And I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep goin' and I

I gotta be strong
Just keep pushin' on 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you're gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep the faith

It's all about
It's all about the climb

Keep the faith
Keep your faith
_________________________________________________________________

I'm not a fan of Miley. But this song touched me. I like how it means that nothing is worth having unless you have to fight for it. It's not really about achieving the dreams but the experiences, the obstacles, the struggles, every drop of tears, lessons you learn along the way. It'll make you appreciate it more.

2009-05-13T23:59:00.004+08:00

I'm worried. A lot of things are going through my mind. I can't sleep well. I am not my most lucid. I can't think straight. I think about that particular thing a lot. I can't seem to get it off of my mind. I eat, I drive, I read; all I can think is about that thing! I'm scared of all the possibilities. I mean, what if.. what if.. Oh my, I don't even have the guts to say it. I hope I didn't have to go for Plan B and Plan C. I wish I could just stick to Plan A only. Yep, PLAN A ONLY! PLAN A ONLY! Yep, I purposely mentioned that twice. PLAN A ONLY! again, for the third time.

2009-05-10T21:19:00.002+08:00

Dub Dab Dub Dab..

Hati berdebar. I've never wanted something this much in my life.
Setiap hari bukak emel dengan penuh harapan.

No new message(s)

Sedih.

I should get the result of my application within this month. (The earliest la..)

I have to keep on praying. Pray. And Pray. Pray again. Harap-harap terbukak hati orang-orangan di Cranfield's SoE untuk menerima aku yang tak seberapa ini tetapi penuh dengan impian.

2009-05-06T20:14:00.005+08:00

*sigh*

When talking about luck, I'm not that lucky. Of course, I'm blessed with family, friends and good health - I am thankful of that. Yet, I don't normally get things I want that easily. I have to go through frustration and suffering before I can actually hold the things that I want in my hand. Some people are just born lucky, yep. They get whatever they want that easily without any struggle, heck some of them don't even ask for it, they just kind of, got it. Some people are lucky enough to have brilliant brain - they get straight As with no struggle. Some people are lucky to be born in fancy lifestyle with money and all those bling-bling. Some people are lucky to have all their wishes come true in a blink of their eyes. Some people are lucky to have their dream jobs. Some people are just lucky to have someone they love, to love them back.

But not me.

I don't have the brain that works really well, I need to work hard to get good result. I don't live in the lifestyle of rich and famous, though I do wear ZARA and Topshop, I had to save every cent of my allowance to buy them. My wishes didn't come true that easily, I had to go through frustration, sufferings and tears rolling down my face before they come true. My dream job, more like the company that I'm dying to work with, I think I do need a cable, huge ones. And my love life, pfftt, let's not even talk about it.

On second thought.

Maybe I'm lucky.
Lucky to have Umi, Abah and Hanis in my life.
Lucky to have close friends who are there for me.
Lucky to have good health.
Lucky to be blessed with all the things that I have right now.

2009-05-01T16:11:00.005+08:00

G-ta tagged me couple of weeks ago.

Let's start.

Sekolah mana lagi best? Menengah or rendah?

Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Dato' Ahmad Maher. Definitely!!!

Apakah makanan kat kantin korang yang korang takleh lupa?

Sizzling noodle, keuy teow kungfu dan burger yang takda roti tu.. complete dgn mayonis.. yum - these were the meals we all makan if stayback either ada extra class ataupun ada violin's practice.

Subjek yang korang suka dan benci. Kenapa?

Yang suka ada 2 subjek: English ( walaupun up until now tak faham grammar tapi still suka subjek English) and Music (bilik muzik ada aircond.. and it was a stress-free subject) .
The rest, haha.. faham2 aje la. But benci would be too harsh kot. So I would say it as.. less favorable ok.

Denda paling teruk korang pernah kena dan kenapa.

Paling teruk? Tak ingat la. Maybe same with G-ta kot, denda sebab silap step kawad. Tapi denda biasa2 tu ada la, berdiri atas kerusi sebab jawab salah - ni kelas Add Math Cikgu Zahid.. yang lain takda rasanya.

Pilih 1 hari paling bosan dalam sekolah.

1 hari ke? 2 hari tak boleh? Sunday and Monday kot. Sunday hari assembly, cikgu cakap banyak. Monday, banyak lagu kena nyanyi.

Cikgu favourite korang?

Teacher Has - my English teacher. Cikgu Manaf sebab ajar kitorg main musical instruments and bawak kami pegi perform dgn tempat-tempat yg best! i.e Dewan Sivik PJ, Dewan DBKL, Hotel Renaissance banyak lagi tau

Barang yang korang tak pernah tinggal masa pergi sekolah selain pen, buku, pencil case, etc.
Mesti la duit!!! Nak beli makanan dekat koop time rehat. Haha.

Perasaan korang masa nak tunjuk report card kat parents?

Takda perasaan. Neutral.

Pernah jeles bila member dapat markah tinggi? Apa korang buat?

Biasa je. Sikit-sikit. Tapi rasanya they deserved the marks sebab diaorang rajin, unlike me ni - Malas. Hee..

Jawatan paling besar pernah korang pegang masa sekolah?

Hmm. PERTIMA and yang librarian skolah tu.. Persatuan Muzik pun ye jugak.

Rindu tak nak balik sekolah semula?

Sangat. SANGAT. S-A-N-G-A-T rindu!!!

Aku nak tag:

Sesape yang terpanggil nak buat tag ni

2009-04-30T22:49:00.004+08:00

I truly feel like 1000 pounds of weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
Wow. Five years. I mean. Whoa. It feels like just yesterday I did my diploma. Now, I completed my degree (unofficially, I know - I know). Wow. Another phase to go. A phase that I am uncertain of.

Will I have a job?
or am I going to do my master of degree? This is my highest priority! - I'm praying real hard.

Some of my friends want to have a month break before they hunt for jobs. I want a break too. But it seemed that I don't think I could live another week without doing real job. Nope, I'm not a workaholic, yet. But I think I can be one kot. Maybe, it just that I get used to waking up early in the morning, having coffee, drive to work and everything (or maybe I miss the sound of Fokker's engines? - bingit telinga ku). Unless. UNLESS. I start studying again, that'd be a different story.

I need a good book to read. Suggestion anyone?

2009-04-27T16:25:00.002+08:00

Charts and graphs interpretation.
Correlations.
Pearson.
Sum.
Tables.
Frequencies.
Percentage.

Is it me or the room is moving?

I need a break from this Thesis stuff.
Few more days left. Sabar separuh dari iman. Sabar..

2009-04-22T21:06:00.004+08:00

I have to admit.

I miss working.

Waking up early.
Driving to work at 7.15 a.m.
Stuck in a traffic jam - Federal Highway.
Arrive at work 8 mins before 8.
Punch the card.
Put all my stuff at my desk and went to cafeteria for breakfast.
Doa pagi.
Turning on my manager's laptop. Log on to Facebook.
Start doing my work.
Lunch 5 mins earlier, 12.55 p.m.
Either had lunch at the cafeteria or Terminal 3 - Butler, Kopitiam, 1901, Starbucks.
Back to office at 2.
Continue what I did before lunch break.
3.30 p.m Zuhr prayer.
Back to work.
5.00 p.m CABUT!!! =P

I miss every single detail of it.

Meski pagi itu indah tapi.. akan sunyi tanpa mu

2009-04-21T20:51:00.002+08:00

I should be happy. Kenapa saya tidak gembira?
I should felt relieved. Kenapa fikiran saya masih kusut?

Jiwa kacau. Isk. Isk. Kurang gemar akan perasaan sebegini rupa. I want my old self back, please!

2009-04-17T22:25:00.003+08:00

I have to get out of that place a.s.a.p to stop that silly feeling from growing.

Trust me. I really don't want to get side-tracked by any kind of complicated situation. I'm actually getting better, slowly letting go of everything that I used to know but my condition is getting even worst than ever.

Ugghh..

2009-04-16T18:23:00.002+08:00

My problem is getting even worst.

The worst of the worst.

I am so close of crossing the line. I know the fact that this thing is forbidden (although come people are okay with it but..) I just can't help it.

Help me. Saya mau buangkan perasaan ini jauh-jauh. Tak mau-tak mau rasa macam ni.

Thesis and Everything In Between

2009-04-11T22:38:00.002+08:00

Oh my, I've been vaguely panicking about my thesis for a while now. The presentation will be on April 21. I haven't done the slides for the presentation just yet. I better start like, right now - after publishing this post. There's just so many things to do yet so little time. I've been so busy at work. I couldn't even squeeze in a moment for my thesis, poor thing..

I wish time will go so slow. Only for this week.

2009-04-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

I don't want to cross the line!

2009-04-04T19:54:00.002+08:00

Breathless.

I asked my friend to buy the movie tickets for today's show since she was going to see a midnight movie at the cinema last night. Thanks to her, we got the best seats in the house! The movie just took my breath away. I was stunned.

Everyone. GO. SEE. FAST AND FURIOUS 4.

ps. I'm going to see the movie again next weekend!

2009-04-01T21:52:00.003+08:00

Hari ini clumsy lagi.

Selepas kerja, I drove to gas station - isi minyak. I told the cashier "Pam number lime, Empat puloh" I gave him 50 note, and dapat baki RM10. He definitely understood and heard me clearly. But. But. Sebaik sahaja mengisi minyak, the meter stopped at RM10. Hairan. Adakah meter ini rosak? Cepat-cepat pergi ke cashier menanyakan perihal situasi sedemikian. Oh rupa nya gerangan itu tersilap tekan. Hmph! Sedang aku berjalan ke arah my Baby. Yak bok tam! Tersepak botol mineral kosong huhu, siap terkena motorist yang sedang asyik mengisi minyak. Tersipu-sipu aku tersenyum and apologized to him. Malu tak terkata. Hmm, kaki bangku la sangat - time macam ni terkena target lah pulak. Cis.
Moral of the story: Jangan buang sampah merata-rata dan atendan pam minyak sila jalankan tanggungjawab anda sebaik mungkin.

Dan clumsy lagi.

Dalam perjalanan pulang ke rumah selepas insiden yang agak memalukan di stesen minyak, mau saja aku balik cepat-cepat. So I was speeding, bawak kereta macam yakin, act macam pro tapi tak sebenarnya, perasan je lebih. Okay. Sampai sahaja di Tol Batu Tiga, aku mengeluh.. panjang queue nak bayar tol. RM1.10 da ready dekat coin box. Mata mulai rasa mengantuk. Lagu di radio mendayu-dayu. Aku mengelamun sedikit. Tetiba entah kereta mana, di sebelah ku mungkin, membunyi hon, aku sedikit menyumpah bodoh, orang bayar tol mane boleh gerak. Agak lama driver itu membunyikan kan hon bagaikan tiada akhir. Hah! Baru aku perasan, siku aku berada di atas stereng.. aku lah si bodoh itu rupanya. Bagaimana aku boleh tidak sedar yang aku yg membunyikan hon? Hee. Aku lupa, last weekend Abah tukar hon sebab the original MyVi punya honk bunyi nya macam alat musik rekoder tersumbat or okay, flute yang tak cukup lubang. Patutlah aku tak perasan. Bunyi hon lain. Sebenarnya aku dah perasan the car in front of me pandang belakang. Hmm. I thought dia saje-saje je pandang blakang. Hmm.

2009-03-31T22:24:00.003+08:00

Topsy turvy FedEx Cargo aircraft, both pilots were killed in the tragedy.

The aircraft looked very, extremely fragile. It was once one strong flying machine.
Helpless. Like a dying bird lying on its back, waiting to be saved. Hopeless.

They said a plane crash are calculated at one in four million.

This is, perhaps, the unlucky ones?

________________________________________________________

Location: Tesco
Time : 6.05pm
Date : March 31, 2009
Additional Information: I told ya, I am so good at being a klutz that I should write a novel about
it.
Dikala aku menghayun bakul biru Tesco, perkiraan hayunan aku
salah. Wah. Hayunan aku terkena Botol-botol Ridsect yang disusun
kemas dan rapi oleh para pekerjanya. @#%&!!!
Wah. Publisiti murahan. Free-free je dapat liputan. No need media
coverage.

2009-03-30T22:01:00.004+08:00

Kawan-kawan! Mari pergi melancong bulan *Julai ini.

Fadz recommended Sarawak.
Any other ideas?
Sarawak pun interesting. I never been to Sarawak.
or Bandung, perhaps? I know Jema would love to go to Bandung for retail-therapy purpose. Hehe.
Mana-mana lokasi melibatkan penerbangan (i.e Sabah, Sarawak, Indonesia, Thailand - unless nak pergi Golok, we don't need the plane - err, Thailand would not be in the list kot), we have to buy the flight tix as earliest as possible - for cheaper fares.

Macam mana kawan-kawan?

* because we have to wait for Fadz to come back from UK.

stuck at the airport

2009-03-29T23:10:00.004+08:00

3 jam 30 minit.
Satu jangkamasa yang agak lama jika tiada sebarang aktiviti dijalankan.

I have to wait that Long!
The flight time to KUL was originally at 5pm.
The delay announcement was only being made 10 minutes after 5. How ridiculuous was that?!
This is the worst experience of delayed flight ever in my life.
They said the aircraft suffered technical difficulty which could only be fix in LCCT-KLIA and thus, won't be able to land at Sultan Ismail Petra Airport. I was like, Oh My God! This couldn't be happening to me. It would definitely be a different feeling if it was in KLIA. I would be like, superduper extra ultra Happy!
But, the long wait actually came with a Gift - RM200 e-voucher as a compensation for delay (for more than 3 hours). Yay! I supposed, err.

Now this delay-situation thing reminds me another experience of mine regarding to the matter - the delay. It was 2 days before Eid Fitr. I was flying with MH to KB. The aircraft was supposed to take off 6.30pm. All the passengers were already in their seats and the aircraft's main door was already closed. Flight attendants were done with their routine demos and everything. I thought we'd be off the land in any second back then. I was wrong. We only took off an hour later. All the Muslim passengers even had to break their fast in the plane but on ground. It was the uneasiest feeling I ever had, sitting with strangers at both sides - adoi la, guys pulak tu. It was uncomfortable and it was hot too - I even thought I just could die either due to heat exhaustion or suffocate because I felt like I couldn't breathe - insufficient oxygen for all passengers - but I was just being paranoid anyway. I think I even strained my neck. Huh. The delay was due to miscommunication between the cabin crew and the captain. Hmph!

2009-03-24T09:49:00.003+08:00

I was tagged by G-Ta. Very interesting tag. Indeed.

The rules are simple. Use Google Image Search to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results and post it as your answer. After that, tag 6 people.

I am: an extraordinary klutz!

I really want to go: to Cranfield University

My fave place(s): my Home and KLIA

My fave drink: Iced Lemon Tea, uh kay.. or Teh O Ais Limau in Malay.

My fave food: Fettuccine Creamy sauce with Shrimps, or pasta related food.

My Fave Color: Black and a little bit of White

My Fave Show: Prison Break!!!

My Hobbies:

1. Travelling

2. Reading

3. Playing musical instrument

4. Watching movies

My Wishes:

1. Perform Haj and Umrah with the people that I love very much; my Family!

2. White VW GTi - what a masterpiece!!!

3. Nile River Cruise - some say Nile River is a magical place.

4. Steady job in the airline industry

I am supposed to tag 6 other people. But. Whoever wants to do this interesting tag, feel free!

2009-03-23T12:25:00.005+08:00

JUMBLED UP. Abit lifeless. Monday's blues. Moodswing. But I'm okay. Honest.

If I should stay, I would only be in your way.

So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way.

Bittersweet memories that is all I'm taking with me.

Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You

2009-03-21T23:27:00.003+08:00

Exhausted.

I attended a wedding this afternoon (Wow, it's been a long time I haven't attended any wedding since I started my practical training). My colleague's wedding. It was nice and simple garden wedding. One thing that impressed me most, exclusive cars were everywhere.
And I just got back from the sport centre somewhere in Shah Alam, played futsal with some of my classmates, my colleagues and my friend's boyfriend and his brother, eventhough I am not good at it. Trust me, I sucked. Big time. Kaki bangku, that's the word. But I had fun.

Okay. I'm really tired right now. So, I'm just going to hit Publish Post now.

2009-03-20T10:15:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday.

May you have all the joy your heart can hold.

All the smiles a day can bring.

All the blesings a life can unfold.

2009-03-19T18:59:00.006+08:00

It's funny how some songs could just bring back all the memories.

Tomorrow is a very special day for someone that I care very much (one that I care after my family and my best buddies), and unfortunately this person didn't know that. I wish this person happiness.

Kau membuat ku berantakan
Kau membuat ku tak karuan
Kau membuat ku tak berdaya
Bagaimana caranya untuk meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
Ku sadari ku tak sempurna
Ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku

D'Masiv, Cinta Ini Membunuhku

2009-03-16T18:29:00.004+08:00

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces.

They say bad things happen for a reason.
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing.

The Script, Break Even

I'm fine. Okay?
It's just, Red.fm was playing this song on the radio. And I thought the lyric relates to me somehow.

Bad habit.

2009-03-14T21:37:00.005+08:00

When most people spend their first salary on clothes, shoes, bags and gadgets.. I went running into the restaurants that I've been longing to dine in. I spent my first salary, eating at Bubba Gump Shrimps, MFM and Warong Penyet. Food is my guilty pleasure. I am more of a food person. I would rather spend my money on food than on shoes, bags.. Yes, I do still spend on that stuff but not as much as food. Eeek! My bad habit. Kalau tengok nice shoes, baju lawa-lawa boleh resist lagi tapi kalau food.. mak oi susah.

And.

Oh my. If I am ever in a weight-gaining programme, I'd probably succeeded. My dietician would be proud of me. Unfortunately, I should be in a weight loss programme. But I consumed tooooooo much of fat these days.

Okay-okay. Let see..
Today.
Breakfast - Nasi lemak with fried chicken
Lunch - Secret Recipe's curry laksa
Dinner - Creamy carbonara pasta

Yesterday.
Breakfast - Fried keoy teow, some kuih-muih at Terminal 2's cafeteria,
Lunch - Swensen's chicken baked rice (very cheesy! and delish!! - guilty pleasure)
Tea - Coffee bean's muffin and regular caramel latte
Dinner - McD's Filet-O-Fish

The day before yesterday.
Breakfast - Cafeteria's fried mee hoon
Lunch - 1901's great Deutsch Doodle Dang
Dinner - Asam laksa

Ah yes, tomorrow.. Sunday morning, normally Abah would buy me nasi kerabu for breakfast.

Now, I'm craving for Wendy's chili, Famous Amos' chocolate brownie, 31's ice cream, soft pretzel, caramel macchiato, sheperd's pie, banana chocolate cheese cake, nasi kak wok, mashed potatoes, Domino's pizza.. oh the list would go endless.

Ops, there goes my diet. More like, MY GOD THERE GOES MY DIET!
Skinny jeans anganku musnah.. hhuhu macam mana ni.. I need to lose weight!

Lost and Found

2009-03-11T10:54:00.003+08:00

As usual. It's like a routine. I seem to lost my handphone at least once a week. I am so lucky so far, everytime I lost my handphone I will find it back. I tend to forget a lot lately, or should I say.. CLUMSY when it comes to my handphone. Could this be the sign of me getting old? Nooooo!!! I'm still 22 for crying out loud!

I've just lost my handphone (again) this morning. Nasib baik jumpa balik. I left it on the table at the cafeteria. A friend of mine suggested that I should no longer use handphone, guna public je beb. Huhu. My handphone is the air that I breathe (suddenly 'No Air' cross my mind) eventhough I acted like I didn't care. It's like I care and I don't care at the same time. While my other friend said I should wear phone strap that goes around the neck. I was like, No Way!

From now on, I'll handle my handphone with care, and very gentle. I promise.

2009-03-08T22:58:00.003+08:00

In my world, time does fly so slow lately. If only there's a way, like a button or something that could fast forward the time. People said, time can be so slow especially when you want it to go by fast. Maybe I think too much.

ps. And now I wait. I better pray hard ( I mean really hard) to Allah and hope I have the luck on my side this time.

2009-03-06T23:24:00.003+08:00

I miss my home in KB!
and Abah is going back to KB tomorrow. I wish I could too *sob sob* nak balik jugak!
I just couldn't because I have to do something that I rate 'very important' in my life. It is something that could turn my life around if this thing really works.
No worries.
I will be back to KB somewhere late March. Terpaksa. Takpe-takpe demi masa hadapan ku. Sabar Azra..Sabar separuh dari iman.

2009-03-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

Some things are suppose to get messed up and not work out. Just so that other things can.
I'm holding on to that, at least, for now.

2009-03-03T23:16:00.003+08:00

Hari ini aku ke UiTM bersamanya. Atas urusan sulit di Fakulti Pengurusan Perniagaan dan mahu ke Pusat Kesihatan UiTM. Ini bukan kali pertama kami ke sana bersama. Malah sudah banyak lokasi kami pergi bersama-sama. Dia memang seorang teman yang baik. Di kala aku bosan, dia pasti akan menemani aku. Walaupun kami baru kenal bulan Ogos yang lepas, hubungan kami agak rapat. Baiklah. Kami sampai di UiTM lebih kurang pukul 8.15 pagi, alangkah malangnya nasib semua tempat letak kereta sudah penuh, tambahan UiTM dalam proses under construction menyebabkan masalah parking pelajar dan staff semakin teruk. Jadi nak tak nak, dia terpaksa tunggu aku di ruang letak kereta kawasan DSB memandangkan di situ sahaja ada ruang kosong. Parking di fakulti aku sangat terhad. Staff dan pelajar kadang-kadang terpaksa berebut. Jauh aku berjalan ke fakulti. Penat. Tapi terpaksa aku tempuh untuk masa depan aku. Aku tahu dia pasti sedih kerana masa depan aku bermaksud meninggalkan dia keseorangan selama setahun. Aku sudah pasti akan merindui dia, masakan tidak, aku pulang ke KB beberapa hari pun sudah aku teringat akan dia. Aku tahu dia gelisah mengenai perkara ini tapi tak pernah sekali pun dia suarakan. Mahu saja aku peluk dia erat-erat untuk hilangkan gelisahnya, tapi takut timbul skandal atau cerita yang kurang enak didengari pula. Tabah dia menanti aku menyelesaikan urusan di fakulti, dari pukul 8.30 sampai pukul 11. Nasib baik dia tak merungut. Hehe. Memang la tak merungut. Sebab dia kereta aku. Hee.. Tetiba sahaja aku rasa bengong semacam, I mean buat lawak bodoh macam ni. ehmm, lawak ke? (-.-") Maaf hari ini otak ku tercabut skru barangkali.

Today I was feeling like, publishing a post in Bahasa. Next time would be in Bahasa Kelate okay.

ps. When people say applying to any postgraduate programme is a tedious process, you better believe it. Because I didn't believe it back then. And I admit I was wrong.

BE MINE

2009-03-02T21:07:00.002+08:00

Oh Crocs, you are on my list ^.^

2009-03-02T14:26:00.004+08:00

I suppose my friend's right. He's not worth it. And I trust my friend's judgement.
I will no longer look back and grieve over the past. I'm letting it go, for good and for real this time. There's no point regretting on things that could've been.

Okay. Now I'm breathing for the first time and I'm leaving, all this behind.

2009-02-25T19:12:00.003+08:00

The day before yesterday, I suffered what some people called "Monday Blues". I was so stressed out with everything, and was not in the mood at all.
Yesterday was good.
But today is excellent. I went to Starbucks at Terminal 3 with my colleagues for lunch. Guess what? MAHB staff get 20% off for any purchase of food and beverages!! Hehe. (I know we are supposed to do the boycott thing, but.. sorry I can't help it. The cafeteria food is getting on my nerve, I just need some changes sometimes)

I keep seeing you everywhere I go.
Is it fate’s way of saying that we were meant to be?
Or just another way of rubbing it in my face that I can’t have you.

What is a true joy?

2009-02-22T00:57:00.004+08:00

Definition: Joy

Main Entry:: ¹joy
Pronunciation:: \ˈjȯi\
Function:: noun
Etymology:: Middle English, from Anglo-French joie, from Latin gaudia, plural of gaudium, from gaudēre to rejoice; probably akin to Greek gēthein to rejoice
Date:: 13th century

1 a: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight b: the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaeity
2: a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
3: a source or cause of delight

Merriam-Webster Online. 22 February 2009

So what really is a joy?
Will you be joyful when you had all the money in the world?
Will you be joyful if you own the world?
Joy.
Is it a true contentment?
Some might says, money can buy happiness, just because you can buy anything that you ever wanted (money can even buy a voice of singer, with a few digital editing, you could be a singer in a flash..) but will you be joyful?
Take your time and think, what does joy means to you?

Because for me, a true joy is the answered prayer(s)..

2009-02-20T18:14:00.003+08:00

One:
Have you ever wanted something so bad it makes you cry?

Two:
It hurts deeper than I thought it would be, so deep it hasn't healed with time.

These are the two feelings that I'm having at the moment. Two different things, but somehow relate to each other.

2009-02-16T20:24:00.013+08:00

Operation Love/ Proposal Daisakusen. A fairy lets Ken travel back in time and try one more time to get Rei's heart. (Ken reminds me of that person. Oh well, maybe it's just a hallucination)

I wish I could do the same too..... I'm still not over it. Perhaps never will.

Alrighty. Moving on.
I've been so busy with just about everything, with not nearly enough time for sleep!
Proposal, thesis, letters for grad school application, work and some other stuff that I need to settle down.. and I've been here and there too for the past few days, I wish I had a chauffeur - bak kata a friend of mine di saat ini lah boyfriend amat di perlukan (at some point, I have to agree with her if I have no transportation, but I can drive and I got my own car, so I don't need a bf right? At least. Not right now). I was totally zonked out at the end of the day. Okay. Although I even thought I was suffering from exhaustion, I'm still feeling like an energizer bunny.. hee.. because I am so psyched about the the topic that I'm going to do for my thesis. Because I get to do my survey at a place that I called Utopia in my self-dictionary. Yes. The airport! what more that I could ask for? hehe. But I haven't really decide which airport, it's going to be either Subang Skypark Airport or KLIA. Subang would be easier as I could just use my office nametag. But if I do it at KLIA, I have to get a new pass and some kind of authority letter as my office nametag is only accessible in Subang Airport. Hmm. Both have pros and cons. So it is yet to decide.

Okay. I've made my decision. I'm going to do it at Subang Skypark Airport. KLIA would be a better choice, with huge number of passenger traffic flow.. which is good for my sampling. But I'm afraid that I will bump into somebody that I don't really want to see. So, I choose Subang Skypark Airport.

Have you ever wanting something so bad, that you can even taste it?
I really. Really. Badly. Desperately want to go to Cranfield.
I really want to do it.
I am going to make it happen.
I had the chance to go to Huddersfield and Aston for Bachelor Degree, but I blew it, both.
This time around, I won't let go.

take the pain away. please.

2009-02-07T19:32:00.004+08:00

I can't wait for October. I don't want to be here anymore.
I'm hurt. I'm in pain. I'm bruised.
I don't want to feel this pain anymore. The pain is just too real. It hurts so much. I want to move on. I want to make the pain go away. But I can't. I'm not capable of moving on as long as I am here. I thought I can go through this, I thought I could handle this, I thought I can survive.. I was wrong. I need superduper ultra extraordinary willpower.
I hate myself so much for still remembering all the memories.
I hate myself for still believing we could work it out.
I hate myself for still hoping for that particular heart.
I hate myself for being in denial.
I hate myself for everything that I never said.
I hate myself for not taking the risk.
I hate myself for waiting too long.
I hate myself for being afraid.
I hate myself for pretending everything is going to be alright.
I hate myself for being such an idiot.
I hate myself for blowing the chance when I actually held it in my hand.
I hate myself for I am still not over it.
I hate myself for almost falling apart.
I hate myself for tears are running down my face while writing this post.

Who knew.
One of the best part of your dream; Ruined.
Yet you still hope for it.

The one that got away.

2009-02-05T21:35:00.005+08:00

I found a quote on someone's xanga. And it actually defines of what I feel.

Every time I work up the courage to talk to you...
I see your face and remember how much you mean to me...
& how one wrong word could ruin any chance of being with you.

But I waited too long. And I regret the things that I didn't do, things that I never said.. when I had the chance.

I pray. Everyday. If only I had a second chance. If only I could turn back the time.

I desperately need a heart transplant. Pronto!

2009-02-02T18:24:00.005+08:00

It's official. I am such a big Twit!
I am not at my most lucid at the moment. I am totally out of my mind.
I should have moved on. I have to. It has been almost 7 months. I've tried, and still trying. But I can't and I don't know why is it so hard to let go.
It seemed that my heart failed to understand what my mind told me to do.
I can't think right. I'm confused.
It's like a disease. It keeps coming back.
It's like a drug, that I can't live without.
I am even so brassed off with my own self. Grrrr

What's wrong with my heart?

2009-02-01T20:52:00.004+08:00

Ever since I started internship last December, I have plenty of spare time. Sometimes I even bored myself to death. And so I thought, I should buy a good book to read.

I was torn between:

And the winner is,

A true story.

About a family's struggles, a woman as a heroine, in Iraqi War.
It's more like of a Kurdish Holocaust's story.

I will post a review of the book in Friendster, if it is any good.

Honestly, I had Remember Me in mind when I enter the bookshop because I was longing to buy it when it first came out. But as I browsed through all the books there, this very particular book caught my eyes. I was mesmerized by the title, Love in a Torn Land. I read the summary, and I was like, I need to have this. Literature fiction seemed to grow in me, ever since I read The Kite Runner, I started to like stories about survival, heroism.. especially in Middle-East countries (although Love in a Torn Land is a true story - which makes it a much better reason to read it..)

the wound wont seems to heal

2009-01-29T22:14:00.009+08:00

Definition:

Wound

1 a: an injury to the body (as from violence, accident, or surgery) that typically involves laceration or breaking of a membrane (as the skin) and usually damage to underlying tissues b: a cut or breach in a plant usually due to an external agent
2: a mental or emotional hurt or blow
3: something resembling a wound in appearance or effect ; especially : a rift in or blow to a political body or social group

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

2009-01-28T22:17:00.011+08:00

I should start working on my thesis by now - the due date for the thesis is Feb 9. But I am so not in the mood to do anything related to education just yet. It appears that my brain has stopped working for any alphabets, sentences, paragraphs.. because all I can see now are numbers, figures, tables and formulas. My brain has been vegetating, that seems, unable to work. And I need to do a personal statement for my Cranfield application (perhaps I should just use the same personal statement that I sent to UCAS two years ago, with a few editing then I'm done). I am so stressed out with everything. I stress on weekdays, normally. Alot of things happened these couple of weeks. I want to go home.. I need to go home - I'm going home next week, yay! I miss everything about university years, school years.. How I wish I could rewind back to those days and pause the life that I miss so much. I miss doing assignments (eekk! I know, I know - but honestly I rather do tons of assignments, answer to pop quizzes than going to work), listening to lectures (walaupun kebiasaannya saya akan pretend mendengar dengan penuh kusyuk, tawadduk dan muhasabah diri hehe, I miss that alot, really).. I don't think I'm ready for the corporate world. Not just yet. The only plus point about working is, I finally know why do working people desperately need their morning coffee.

2009-01-27T16:53:00.008+08:00

Back to square one. Just me and the working life. Uggh!

Umi and Hanis flew back home this afternoon (I just got back from the airport sending them off and I already miss them). I was happy to the max all the while they were here!!! I wish they could have stayed longer.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a new start for the week. As for me, it will be just the same. Dull. Boring. Lifeless. Less exciting and abit miserable, with capital M. Sometimes I feel like a robotic zombie. Gosh! It stressed me out just thinking about it.

2009-01-25T20:43:00.004+08:00

If you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Lose Yourself, Eminem

I've been listening to the song lately. Keep rewinding it. Playing it over and over again. I feel the adrenaline rush running through my vein whenever I hear the song. I feel so excited and wish I could fast forward the time. Cepat-cepat la bulan Oktober. I can't wait. Really!

I wont blew it this time around. I am not going to let it slip. Not this time. I'm going to make it happen. Although I'm so damn scared, I ain't going to let my fear controls me. My parents support me in whatever I do. Umi actually went with me to see the education advisor in Subang Jaya. Abah couldnt go with us, because we went there during Friday prayer. So. Next week I am going to UiTM to get all the needed documents and give them to my education advisor so he can take further action for my Cranfield application. He said that he will try to get the conditional offer for me, within 3 weeks.

Pray for me ^-^

Umi said I should start sembahyang hajat everyday from now on. Hee..

2009-01-23T08:53:00.004+08:00

i dont know if i should.
i really want it. badly.
i pray hard every day.
my lecturer said, "pejam mata and just go"
she said she was the only girl in the class and the only Malay as well, the youngest too.
but im already freaking out.
im scared of the future, of whats going to happen, things that hasnt happened yet.
im afraid of the challenges. will i survive?
of course, i'll definitely be homesick.
its like, im torn between with my dream and the people that i love.
but.
i really want to go. i really want to do it.
i want to make Umi and Abah proud of me.

uggh.
i dont know. but something is holding me back.
and i dont even know what it is.
its the fear. i guess.
probably.

2009-01-20T22:25:00.002+08:00

"all love stories have one thing in common, you have to fight the odds to get there"

bleh.
go away love.
go away butterflies.

im finally at the point where i really dont care anymore ( i think - i hope so )

=.=

2009-01-18T12:05:00.003+08:00

another post. probably the last one for the week.

its about the new airport drama, yes, i bet many of us had heard, the KLIA-East, in Labu. a brand spankin new LCCT, soon.

yes. in LABU.

about ridiculously 10 km away from KLIA Main Terminal Building.

and. and. we'll have the fastest departure and arrival time in airline history. depart in Sepang and arrive in Labu in just less than 5 mins. Yay! *grins*

the airport will be exclusively for AK flights only. Kiasu ke AirAsia ni? Or is it for the spirit of Malaysia Boleh? Or.. hmm. you know what i mean.

it makes no sense.

well i just hope Malaysia will remain as harmony and peaceful as it is now and then (although there's abit of chaos these days)

i blog. again >.<

yes. ive deleted some posts. that are seemed to be useless* / have no points at all.

*useless posts: due to my post-recovering -from- a-heartbroken-thing. bla. bla. bla

T.T

2009-01-17T17:16:00.007+08:00

I saw an article abt 'What's in a bag?' in The Star the day before yesterday (I think).
and it mentioned that whats in your handbag can determine who you really are. what you carry in your handbag says alot about you! how interesting.. ^.^ there's even a book titled How To Tell A Woman by Her Handbag written by Kathryn Eisman. so. here's whats in my handbag!

cellphone
purse - contains atm card, credit card (Umi said I can only use it for EMERGENCY. from my point of view, Shopping equals to Emergency. Hehe. Swap it, yeaa~), id card, old receipts, cash, small change, name cards, kfc's coupons, driving license, UiTM student id card, pocket calendar, membership cards.. etc yang seangkatan dengan nya
office name tag
car keys - the one with the rubber ducky keychain
house keys
house access card
notebook - i like to write. honest. i like to put my thoughts into words at times.
pen
sony mp3 player
nikon digital camera
a few receipts, fine tix, domino's coupons, firefly's flight tix
pendrive
perfume - any girl should smells good. lancome so magic, althou I hv allergy.. I love the smells so much!
panadols - really2 help during pms =P
the makeup - compact powder, blusher, sunscreen, moisturizer, lip balm, vaseline
dental floss

I carry more stuff in my handbag esp when travelling, or when I know I'm not going back home til night. I even carry umbrella, bottled water and kain sembahyang in my handbag. Boleh muat. Really. My handbag will be sedikit kembung lah.

2009-01-13T21:56:00.002+08:00

What happened to the world?
Palestinians are dying. And the world's watching. People do peaceful demos. But. Israel cant hear the world as they are too busy bombing here and there. Hearing loss due to chronic noise exposure. Yes?

Dear Israel.
War is a primitive way as a solution over problem, eventhough you are using
high-tech weapons (what a show-off! - the world are not even impress at all), still, it is a primitive solution. Only barbarians back in those days were using wars in any conflict even the stupid ones.

Dear Israel.
The land is not the only reason. People know. We know. It is also about the oil.
The war perhaps is just a ploy because you have been killing Palestinians for years.
The war created tension and will increase the price of oil. We know.
Arab countries are taking no action but peaceful demos. Why? Because of the
rise of price of oil. Asalkan $$ masuk, semua bagi green light. Fyi,
crude oil per barrel now reach USD$48. We know. We see. Crystal clear.

Dear Israel.
Are you possesed? Because a good sane man wouldnt do what you do now.

Dear Israel.
Israel who? Pardon me?
Nope. Cant hear you. Sorry. We are at war, remember?

2009-01-12T20:53:00.000+08:00

Only Fooling Myself
(Kate Voegele)

I stop to catch my breath
And I stop to catch your eye
No need to second-guess
That you’ve been on my mind
I dream days away, but that’s okay

It’s like I want to hear a silent sound
And then hold it in my hand
But a rose won’t blossom from a ground
Of desert sand, but I like to pretend that

One day I’ll turn around, I’ll see your hand reach out
I’m only fooling myself, oh
But maybe when you smile
It means you’d stay awhile
Just maybe you’d save me now

Well, now it’s etched in stone
That I can’t survive alone
You have the missing piece
That I need so desperately
Yes, I slip away to a day that’ll never come

It’s like a splash of water to my face
When I suddenly realize
That you could never find a place
For me in your eyes, and I don’t know why I keep thinking

It’s love in disguise
I’m lost in your eyes
Lost in your eyes

2009-01-10T23:52:00.003+08:00

Something's been creeping into my head these past few days (even today as well), turning my thoughts into a dizzy head. I was, kinda, almost falling apart. Thank God, I hv family and friends who will always keep my feet on the ground, who will remind me of who I really am, who will always be there for me no matter what. But I still need a distraction to keep me of off thinking of the things that are bugging me. Hee.. so I did a retail therapy** today, at Mid Valley with some friends. Zara (up to 70% - definitely a must buy for me!), Topshop, Dorothy Perkins, MNG, Esprit, Three Point Six, NafNaf.. all the good stores.. are having season clearance sales. It's too tempting. I couldnt resist. And so I bought a white Zara shirts, an MNG sweater and a Topshop long sleeve t-shirt. huu.. there goes one of my o-nine resolutions, which I can say 'failed' but I have a reason.. a very good ones - I was so stressed out ok. I need something to calm me down abit. Shopping is the best medicine..~ I have a bad habit. I never learn. I know.

**Retail therapy in definition, is shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition. (1) Often seen in people during periods of depression or transition, it is normally a short-lived habit. Items purchased during periods of retail therapy are sometimes referred to as "comfort buys." - Wikipedia

Comfort buys. I like the sound of it. Yes.

2009-01-09T23:25:00.007+08:00

Just because I have so much free time.
Let see what's on my current playlist.

you cant break a broken heart, kate voegele
only fooling myself, kate voegele
i cant break it to my heart, delta goodrem
lovebug, jonas brothers
catch my disease, ben lee
7 things, miley cyrus
forever and always, taylor swift
kindly unspoken, kate voegele
better days, kate voegele
out from under, britney spears
when you wish upon a star, kate voegele
i'd lie, taylor swift
i wont disagree, kate voegele
get back, demi lovato
should've said no, taylor swift
tonight, jonas brothers
superhuman, chris brown ft keri
a little too late, delta goodrem
if it kills me, jason mraz
i heart, taylor swift
gotta be somebody, nickelback
if today was your last day, nickelback
crush, david archuletta
hallelujah, kate voegele
say goodbye, chris brown
wish you were here, kate voegele
better in time, leona lewis
elevator, florida ft timbaland

yes. i seem to like Kate Voegele. i like her vocals, music and lyric . she's not that popular in malaysia. but she made a couple of appearances in One Tree Hill.

for some unknown reasons, i've been listening to you cant break a broken heart over and over again.

..no damage you can do now i'm immune to you now
you cant break what broke apart
there's nothing you can do to me no more
you can't break a broken heart..

2009-01-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

Did you ever notice that there is always that
particular line in that certain song, that always
stands out in that certain way.

And reminds you of that one person?

2009-01-04T21:46:00.005+08:00

The good news is I found my prince charming.
Yes. Great hair. Nice smile. Good sense of humor.
He meets all the criteria.
And the bad news is, he is way out of my league. Or Hanis would say it, "Earth to Azra!"

Hanis seemed to notice that I like guys who has long/medium-length hair. I didn't even realized it before this. Now that she mentioned it to me. I think she's quite true about it. Scott Moffatt, Gerard Way, Ben Barnes, Joe Jonas.. there is a similarity between them.

2009-01-01T23:28:00.006+08:00

It's that time of year again. Yes. The time when we make promises to ourselves. I think it's more like of goals to be achieved on that particular year. Some calls, New Year Resolutions. Here's mine.

1. I will say no, when it's hard to say no
2. No more impulse shopping ( No more the perasan case of loads of $$)
3. I will do a long list of pros and cons before making any purchase
4. Stick to my diet and exercise more often, so I can fit in skinny jeans perfectly
5. Be a better person; as a Muslim, as a Daughter, as a Friend, as a Human
6. I'll do whatever it takes to go to Cranfield
7. Save money. For trip to Europe this May/June
8. No more retail theraphy =(
9. Put the "you-were-my-favorite-drug" in a box. And throw it into the deepest ocean. Eventhough I know it wasn't that easy to put aside the feeling. Because it was one of the best part of my dream. But I will try.
10. I'll give 101% of me to achieve all of the above. InsyaAllah.

ps. My Mom's birthday is today! Happy Birthday Umi!!! (I miss her so bad)

2008-12-25T17:36:00.002+08:00

2008-12-23T14:32:00.002+08:00

I'm 22.

Single and Happy.

"for life is full of challenges"

I've handled 'em well, so far.

Because I have my pride & joy; my FAMILY, and friends

who will always be there for me, no matter what.

Happy 22nd Birthday to me!

( Somehow, I refuse to grow up )

2008-12-07T22:03:00.003+08:00

I’ve been crazily busy the whole week. I even thought I could die due to exhaustion.

Okay, here’s my daily routine.

Force myself to wake up at 6.00 am *hits alarm clock and throws it to the wall*
Drive in my awesome ‘black froggy’, to Subang Airport at 7.00 am
Sit in front of the computer, and do whatever my boss tells me to do.
After a long day at work, drive home at 5.00 pm
Get myself something to eat for dinner. Usually I drive-thru.
Crawl into bed at 9.30 pm. Gosh, Im starting to feel old.. GAHH!! I SEE HUGE WRINKLES ON MY FACE!!!HELLLPPPP!! XDD
Repeat steps 1 to 6 the next day. Not applicable on Saturday and Sunday.

I miss Mr Telly Vishion !!! T_T

2008-11-28T14:34:00.005+08:00

the famous Merlion.

Greetings from Singapore.

I am on a family vacation in Singapore. Just Singapore. We could have gone to Turkey if my internship did notstart on 1^st Dec.

Damn!

Singapore is a definitely CLEAN country. Yeah. Totally A CLEAN country. and a FINE ones too.. Singapore is too perfect. No congestion. Efficient MRT system. Singapore is wayyyyyyyy different, in a good way, from Malaysia. Definitely very impressive ones, just looking how developed they had been. Hah, perhaps it is because of the KIASU attitude in everything. And yes, Singaporeans do have better taste in fashion. High fashion and more couture like. These are the reasons why I like Singapore so much! their taste in fashion, is SUPERB and affordable. I found a shop selling nice belts, at SGD2 per piece ( SGD2 x RM2.37 = RM4.72). You can't buy that kind of belts at that price in Malaysia. Handbags, bags, jackets, vests, watches.. etc.. I was rambang mata!!!! If I have all the money in the world I would buy all the shops in Singapore..! And Changi Airport. The beauty is unspeakable. Definitely deserved the best airport in the world award, for more than 16 times.

Okay. I think I better stop now, as I could just go on and on, endlessly babbling about Singapore.

Til next time.

2008-11-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

I have my own plan.
Do not tell me the dos and donts.
I know myself better than anyone.

2008-11-22T16:53:00.005+08:00

Hello, tell me you know

Yeah, you figured me out

Something gave it away

And it would be such a beautiful moment

To see the look on your face

To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking

You know nothing

Cause you and I

Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and

We get along much better

Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me

If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,

Wishing to kiss you,

Before I rightly explode?

This double life I lead isn't healthy for me

In fact it makes me nervous

If I get caught I could be risking it all

Well maybe there's a lot that I miss

In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me

If it kills me

If I should be so bold

I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand

Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man

But I never said I would

I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me

If it kills me

I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me

Yeah the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me

If it kills me

It might kill me

Song: If It Kills Me

By: Jason Mraz

2008-11-21T21:15:00.012+08:00

Fadz tagged me. Few days ago.

Im not that familiar with this TAG thing. Hopefully Im not doing it wrong.
I am supposed to do abt an opposite sex. So. Here it goes:

>A person who I used to be friend with (I think). Or maybe still friends. I dont know.

What is the relationship of you and him?

Unknown.
Your 5 impressions towards him

WORKAHOLIC!!!!!,
Honest,
Kind,
Caring,
he is filthy rich!
The most memorable things he had done for you

N/A

The most memorable things he have said to you?

I got plenty of time for you my dear.
If he becomes your enemy, you will

He’s nowhere near to be my enemy.
If he becomes your enemy, the reason is

he broke my heart, but I cant evn think of one single reason to hate him.
The most desirable thing to do on him is?

Haha. Very funny. I would do nothing. Nada nein.
The overall impression of him

PERFECT. Considering the steady career, the CAR, the salary he's making.

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?

How should I know?

The character of you for yourself is?

Webster hasnt found the word.

The character you hate of yourself is?

Impulse-shopper. Okay. I hate myself more when I am in Malas mode.

The most ideal person that you want to be is?

Sorry to say but, I love the idea of ME.. Hyuk-hyuk (*.~)

For the people who care about and like you, say something about them.

Thnk you for ur support! Thnk you. Without u guys, I’d be nothing. Thnk you. (Applause)
10 people to tag

Most of names below have done these Qs. But Im going to list them anyway.
1. Fadz
2. Jema
3. Gta
4. Hani
5. Nedd
6. Intan
7.

10.
Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?

Hmm.
Is no. 3 a male or a female?

Female.

What is no. 1 studying about?

I think it is.. Built Environment sumtin, sumtin. I forgot.
Is no. 4 single?

I think so. Hani are you single?
who is no. 5?
Nur Nadeera.
Say something about no. 6?

Is studying in Indonesia

2008-11-17T10:16:00.009+08:00

If we talk, will it make any difference?

No, it won't. Right?

So please, let go of everything. and stop doing this to me.

I miss your smile.. but I miss my own more.

2008-11-06T20:57:00.017+08:00

Some of my friends got married alrdy. Some of them evn had babies.
Me! I dont evn hv a boyfriend.

Calon pun tak ada. Huhu. Not that I dont want to.
But because I know what my real priorities are..

and I hv other commitment (my goals!),

which are far much important than being in a serious relationship.

I found this interesting poem, kinda.

I think every girl wants something like this.

(including me - but add up one more, which is cukup sembahyang lima waktu..)

________________________________________________________________________

I want a guy to sweat when he sees me
But smells good no matter what

I want a guy who I can wrestle
But knows when he needs to be gentle

I want him to be dangerous
But not at all careless

I want a guy who makes me cry
But not because he hurts me

I want a guy who would pay any price for me
But not try to buy my love

I want a guy who will make it happen
But won’t just say if it’s meant to be

I want a guy who will show me his true self
But not hide it when he’s at his worse

I want a guy who will make me feel beautiful
But won’t treat me like a trophy girl

I want a guy who will make me feel like I’m the smartest
But be able to teach me something new

I want him to be my everything
But understand that he can’t just be my one thing

I want him to always be able to think of something to do
But be content doing absolutely nothing

I want him to challenge me
But know not to push too hard

I want him to always be near
But only when I can feel that he wants to

I want him to give me the world whenever
But not expect anything in return every time

I want him to have a good sense of humor
But not make a joke out of everything

I want him to be goal-oriented
But always keep me in mind

I want him to be confident
But be humble and have a few insecurities

I want a guy to speak philosophically
But only if it’s from experience

I want him to ask what I’m thinking
But be able to already know my answer

I want him to be mysterious
But to tell me the truth

I want to think “I can’t believe he’s mine”
But never think I’m not worthy

It may seem what I want is perfect
But it’s not – it’s just what I need

By: Corinne Angel, Brittain Miller, Jeff Rossini and Ashley Ethridge